No Good

Wow! It has been quite some time since my last post. I keep thinking that perhaps wise and godly "strategizing" can change "psycho" families into "whole" families. I keep wanting to write as an expert who has life-changing wisdom to speak. Instead, I remain a simple christian who loves Jesus and simply writes for decades about situations that do not resolve but Scriptures continue to direct me in ways traditional Christianity remains silent.

So... why write? Again, I must state that I share these verses to you as a fellow struggler NOT as an expert. Please consider each post prayerfully and with good, reliable counsel.

Galations 3:17, 9b

"These people are zealous to win you over, but for no good.
What they want is to
-- alienate you from us
-- so you will be zealous for them... Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?"

Thoughts:

After many years of silence, the estrangement battle wages on. The choice is mine:  recant and reenter the fold OR continued estrangement with increasing slander. Coming across this verse, I must ask myself these questions:

• What is their purpose in "winning me over": God's glory or personal vindication? ("... zealous to win you over, but for no good...")
• Does my communion with them significant limit my communion with other godly, trustworthy allies and/or those to whom I'm called to serve? ("What they want is to alienate you from us ...")
• Are they calling me back into communion or zealous commitment? ("... so you will be zealous for them...")
• Are there relational strings attached that will enslave me? ("Do you wish to be enslave by them all over again?")

How painful to answer all these negatively but how helpful to have a verse so clear. I pray that as you wrestle with guilt, sorrow, and rage over these questions, that the Lord will give you clarity and rest. May you trust Him to ease the intensely negative feelings and to walk with Him on a less traveled path.

Prayer:

Lord, we do not want to be enslaved. We do not want to be angry or sad or guilty. The path you have for us is confusing and seems, at times, to be directionless. Help us to be be faithful. Give us peace when we do not know where we are going but we know where we should not be going. Help us trust you more and know you more. Remind us that our faithful journey is what you desire ... not a specific destination. You are God. Your plan is good and will be accomplished ... despite us ... despite others. Thank you that we can trust you. Amen.

"Come, follow me!"

Sometimes following means leaving.

Bible Passage: Mark 1:16-20

¹⁶As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ¹⁷"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." ¹⁸At once they left their nets and followed him.
 ¹⁹When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. ²⁰Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.

Reflections:
It has been some time since I've blogged. It seems to be one of those things that come in spurts. I find myself frequently on a pendulum between the extremes of living in my present calling and living out of a painful background and story from which Jesus has plucked me. My analysis is that if I were spending to much time in either, it could be an indication that I am living inauthentically (burying down painful parts that have contributed to my passion for those hurting as well as my passion for my Lord) or that I could be churning in bitterness or unforgiveness (if my difficult family situation is the sum of all I fixate). Flared situations have caused me to reflect a bit more. I share those reflections with you.

Again, I ask myself. What is my calling?? Am I following Jesus in his specific calling for me or am I fleeing my family responsibilities? Is there Biblical precedent to allow for this choice or am a hypocrite, taking the "easy way out"?

How interesting to consider Jesus' calling of the disciples. He called them away from their families. They left their comforts, their occupations, their safety and their families. But ... they left with purpose.

Prayer:
Lord, it seems you continue to barricade the door of reentry with my family with increasingly more barriers ... bigger and stronger and more in number. You have opened other doors that I have walked through in faithful devotion to you.

Help me to bear the real and imagined "voices" that scream "hypocrite". Allow me to walk in faithfulness to you. Please help those behind those barricades that I have been most severely unsuccessful at helping. Bring others to comfort them or reopen ways for me.

Keep me from anger and hurt. Remind me that all changes or lack of changes are from you alone and not because of my righteousness or my wickedness. That being said, sanctify me increasingly more for your glory to shine through me and ease the suffering of others.

For Jesus' name sake! Amen

The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

Christmas is the perfect time of year to stand with Jesus, knowing full well that our God is not merely skilled at empathy but has endured pain... by us... for us.

Scripture Reference:
John 1:11 "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him."

Reflection:
Christmas is the perfect time of year to stand with Jesus, knowing full well that our God "had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people" (Hebrews 2:17).

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

Our God became a man well acquainted with sorrow and abandonment. Though he made the world and loved the world, they rejected him. He sacrificed all he was and they did not recognize it. They would not recognize him. They did not receive him.

Mistaken and rejected friends, let us cling to our mistaken and rejected Savior...

 ⁶Who, being in very nature God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

 ⁷but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
 ⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross!(Philippians 2)

His rejection, he foreknew. His rejection, he accepted. His rejection, he chose... FOR US. He knows the hurt. He lived the pain. He stands beside us now in full experiential awareness of us. Yet friends, his hurt not only allows him to identify but also enables him to save.

As we continue reading John 1, we see God's power. Even in his rejection, he was unfolding his plan. 

¹⁰He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

We may stand rejected by others. But, we have not been rejected by God. Even our small and irradic choices to stand with him are based on his choice. His rejection enabled his acceptance.

Do I define myself as one rejected by many or do I define myself as chosen by God? Do I live as one shunned by some or as one called to give to others?

Prayer:
Lord, thank you that you know how I feel... not because you are merely skilled at empathy but because you have felt this hurt too. How amazing to think you CHOSE to hurt this way! How amazing to think you allowed yourself to be rejected so you could rescue me.

Please keep me from placing my value on the fact that I am worthless to some. Instead, help me to feel valued by you, the all-powerful God of the universe. Impress on me the wonder that you would endure so horrendous an experience to get me.

Thank you for coming to save me. Thank you for coming to relate with me and my experiences. Thank you for modeling an ability to endure with compassion and integrity. Help me to live out of your compassion as I endure my rejection.

Help me to "fix [my] eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of [my] faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrew 12:2). I'm not exactly sure, Lord, WHY I am your joy (or why I'm not others') but help me to live in what I am!

Calm and Crush!?!

We often categorize traits into two distinct camps. In one, we lump anger, aggression, justice, and lack of control. In the other, we lump peace, mercy, grace, and self-control. However, our God is a God that often combines seemingly opposite characteristics.

Biblical Passage: Romans 16: 20 "The God of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet."

Biblical Context: Paul is finishing the book of Romans with his final remarks.

Reflections -
I love this verse. God is both the God of Peace and the Righter of Wrongs. In this we can clearly see how defining peace as "the state prevailing during the absence of war" is a limited definition... applicable in some contexts but certainly not all. Likewise, the definition of peace as "harmonious relations; freedom from disputes" is limited as "crushing Satan" is certainly not living harmonious.

It seems that those engaged in conflict often wrestle with the righteousness of their calling. On the one hand, it seems logical to fight as a soldier or address wickedness as a christian. On the other hand, the church often preaches our need to love, forgive, and show mercy.

One definition of peace I like is, "the absence of mental stress and anxiety". I like this definition coupled with another definition of peace as, "the general security of public places (ie. disturbing the peace". Can we, without a loss of control, defend what is right? The Lord can.

The God of Peace will soon crush Satan. He is not reacting in explosive violence but in calculated choice. He is not worried or anxious about his delay or about the outcome. His act of peace is one that, in a way, causes destruction. Yet, his overall purpose and nature is fulfilled.

The God of Peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. He uses us. I assume this verse does not imply that God will crush Satan and then place his ruined carcass under our feet. Somehow, in his power, he will use us to accomplish his plan.

In Genesis 3:15b, God curses the snake by saying, "He [woman's offspring] will crush your head and you will strike his heel." Through the lineage of Abraham and David and through the virgin birth of Mary, Jesus came and defeated Satan. Likewise, I believe he uses us to show himself and accomplish his purposes.

Prayer -

Thank you for righting wrongs. Thank you that you do this according to your perfect plan and not the result of an out-of-control act of power. Thank you for acting in peace and for peace.

Help us to follow you in responding to others in peace. Settle our hearts if our actions of peace involve upholding justice. Help soldiers fulfill their duties in faithful devotion to you. Help those in relationship difficulties to respond out of faithfulness to you also.

Thank you for using us as part of your plan. Forgive us for acting impulsive at times. But thank you for using even these.

A Forced Dichotomy? Acceptance and Estrangement

The Bible calls us to "accept one another ... as Christ accepted you". Can I say "no" to a relationship with another when God has said "yes" to a relationship with me?

Biblical Passage -
Romans 15:7 "Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." NIV

Biblical Context -
After discussing the varying convictions of the day and exhorting the church to refrain from judgmental condemnation and, instead, to strive to live in peace, Paul, the author of Romans, writes about unity.

Reflections -

What does it mean to accept another?

On one hand, it could be argued that because Christ reconciled himself to us while we were sinners/ his enemies, we ought to do the same for others.

But again, I ask, is this what "accepting another as Christ accepted us" means?

(1)
Let's look at the Greek word translated as "accept". The greek word "proslambano" is defined by Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary as "to take to oneself ... to receive ... signifying a special interest on the part of the receiver, suggesting a welcome."

It would appear then, that Paul is not addressing the condoning of another's sin, nor is he addressing any permanent relational acceptance. Instead, it appears he is addressing the manner in which we respectfully treat another person present and, perhaps, in need.

This greek word is used in 2 other contexts in the New Testament. The first is Acts 28:2 where islanders on Malta "showed ... unusual kindness ... and welcomed" Paul and his team, providing fire and supplies "because it was raining and cold." These islanders' acceptance of Paul did not provide a permanent friendship for Paul but instead enabled Paul to minister to many and even heal the father of a chief official. What a compound effect this welcoming had! Though Paul left them a short time later (v10), their generous welcome had a lasting affect.

It seems as though a significant reason for a gracious greeting is to provide ministry opportunities through us and others not primarily for an ongoing relationship between two parties.

(2)
The english definition of "welcome" is "to receive or accept with kind courtesy or pleasure."

If we trust God is wise and continually moving relational pieces on this chessboard of life to fulfill a greater plan than can be thought or imagined, it would behoove us to treat encounters with others as moments in God's plan ... for us ... for them ... for his redemptive work on earth.

Perhaps, this welcome will be a lifelong friendship. Perhaps, as with the Malta islanders, our welcome will be a temporary opportunity to show kindness. Regardless, our attitude of welcome to others, shows an openness to be part of God's plan. He is the great conservationist. Are we open to seeing how others' gifts and/or ideas can sanctify us? Are we willing to be open, kind and courteous as others pursue their calling with the Lord? Or, are we more concerned with forcing our agenda and/ or opinion?

(3)
For whom is this done?

• Nor for ourselves: We welcome others not simply for the bitterness, arrogance or self-centeredness that could develop if we did not. We also do not welcome others for the secondhand benefit they could provide us.

• Not for others: We welcome others not for the blessing it will provide through or to another.

We welcome others "in praise to God," trusting Him above all... a willingness to be part of His plan.

(4)
What about estrangement?

Life is complicated. Relationships are affected by our calling. It is quite obvious, that interactions with strangers will differ with calling. If I am called to Malta and never depart, I will never meet an individual who resides and remains in another country.

Similarly, my calling with those I've met are also affected by my calling. I may not correspond with a former classmate. This is not a "refusal to welcome them" but a calling to welcome others. It is just not possible to continue every past relationship.

Sadly too, I may not continue to engage in certain strained relationships. Again, this is not necessarily a "refusal to welcome" but a calling to engage with others.

Prayer:
Lord, how easy it could be to live a guilt-ridden, constantly-striving life!!! Oh the needs! We cannot meet them all. Only You are God!

Forgive us for trying so hard to salvage every relationship that our focus is less on welcoming others and more on proving something. Our interactions with them can so easily become an effort force the result or conclusion we desire. Our very kindness becomes self-seeking and an arrogant attempt to play "god".

At the same time, Lord, keep us from hypocrisy. Let us not allow our desire for authenticity to justify rudeness and insensitivity. Where we are confused, bring clarity. If we are paralyzed in doubt, allow us to rest in trust of your ability to intervene and reinsert people into our lives who we have lost. Help us to be more concerned with faithfully welcoming others in the callings you currently have for us rather than the reconciliations we have been unable to achieve or the greetings we are unable to give.

Comfort us for the goodbyes we grieve giving when our heart's desire would be to to welcome them also.

Strengthen weak knees

Imagine if Christians went around encouraging fellow brothers and sisters, “Keep the faith... God is coming with ‘muscle’, ‘boy’ is he angry and He is going fix this ‘good’!”

Bible Reference - Hebrews 12 & Isaiah 35

Hebrews 12:12 “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ‘Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled but rather healed.”

The first subtitle of Hebrews 12 in the NIV is “God Disciplines His Sons.” Verse 7 begins with the phrase “Endure hardship as discipline...”. A natural-born cynic, I read this phrase with verse 12 and bitterly felt, “God is an abusive father. The difficulties you are enduring and have endured are cruel discipline but good for you so buck up. You don’t have to be destroyed if you toughen up.”

This cannot be true however if we assent to God being a God of love and compassion so I decided to look up the verse the author of Hebrews is quoting in verse 12. I loved what I found and was, quite frankly, surprised.

Isaiah 35:3 begins with, “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way...”.

So... how does it continue? HOW do we strengthen our feeble hands and HOW to we steady our knees? How do we gain the strength and ability to “buck-up” and endure?

Isaiah 3:4 continues with the answer, “... say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.’

Reflection -
I love the fact that God does not want us to “bury-it-all-down-deep-inside” nor does he want us to “rise-up-by-our-bootstraps”. He does not want us to ignore our exacerbation or our desire for justice. He does not ask us to rid ourselves of righteous anger. Instead, he reminds us that we can take courage... GOD will ultimately right these wrongs. We strengthen ourselves and steady ourselves under the eternal perspective of the LORD’S “vengeance” and “retribution”. What powerful words! And, I believe it is because it takes incredible power, outside of ourselves, working with intensity to give us the vindication that allows us move forward when justice at a current moment be delayed. We must remember and be encouraged that though justice is delayed, God will intensely deal with it. The delay does not lower His outrage and determination to set things right.

Many times in this life we experience (or are ourselves) people who delay engaging conflict and then “forget about it”. A parent may be watching television and not intervene in sibling rivalry. A teacher may be distracted and not prevent cheating or bullying. These examples may lead us to feel God is distracted, preoccupied or indifferent. No!

God cares! He delays but his delay is purposeful. His anger is righteous and therefore is not “watered-down” by time. When he acts on our behalf, it will be strong and sure.

I smile at the this thought: Imagine if Christians went around telling discouraged ones to be encouraged and keep the faith because God is coming with “muscle”, “boy, is he angry” (“vengeance”), and he is going to “kick some butt and take names” (“divine retribution”). It would probably horrify many a christian with certain definitions of the word “forgiveness”. But clearly, this is appropriate. Forgiveness and the choice to not exact justice ourselves is only possible when we realize that it WILL still be done.

One important note is the resulting feelings:

• 35:6b “... the mute tongue [will] shout for joy.”
• 35:10a “... the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing...”
• 35:10c “Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.”
  

Notice how the knowledge that God will act should not cause us to sit and bitterly await his judgement. This fact should ease our anger not be an excuse to inflame it. This passage is not meant to excuse our rage but allow us to move forward in our calling before the Lord in full awareness that things we are unable to change will be corrected. We can rest knowing we are responsible for our actions and attitudes alone. Though conclusions and judgements are not in our control, they are in control by a God who is righteous (“divine”) and powerful (“he will come to save”).

Prayer -
Lord, thank you that you care. Thank you that you are bothered to the point of action. Though you ask us to “endure hardship”, it is not from cruelty or lack of knowledge, concern, or motivation on your part. You WILL right things. And even now, the delay is strategic in our lives as well.
Thank you for acknowledging our pain in the matter (“no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful”). Your training is one that is pushing us to holiness and closeness with you without breaking us. A good trainer knows how far to push ... for skills to be built, they must push a person farther than they have gone before. A wise trainer must be fully aware of the current condition of their trainee so as not to break, tear, destroy, or undermine their ultimate goal. Your Lord, know our current state. You know that your delay causes pain. You are our trainer Lord. You are also our physical therapist. Wrap us. Brace us. Mend us. Heal us. Further open our eyes to see your goodness and our calling. If anyone is especially weary right now Lord, please comfort them and give them momentary reprieve to rest and rejuvenate. Thank you for the many examples of times you have done this in the Bible. Help us to trust you. Help us to rest in your righteous, perfect, good and loving plan. Allow us to grow in trust of your plan so much that the timing that you have and we do not understand is bearable and even preferred.

Additional passages -

• Deut 32:35 “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”
• Obadiah 1:15 “”The day of the Lord is near for all nations. As you have done, it will be done to you; your deeds will return upon your own head.”
• Acts 17:31a “For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice..: