Separations are not the norm and are therefore misunderstood by others. Even in the Bible, circumstances are unclear. God’s allowance of these separations can be disturbing. Can we rest in God’s approval alone? Can we rest in God’s care for another? Or, will we live lives of self-justification?
Bible Reference - Genesis 21
Story Recap - Abraham and Sarah are married and have no children. Sarah suggests Abraham have a child through Hagar. He does. Hagar mocks. Sarah tells Abraham to “get rid of her”. Abraham is worried, is reassured by God, and sends her away.
Reflection -
1) A HORRIBLE STORY
Certainly this would be a story you wouldn’t want to generalize or take out of context. That being said, it is really amazing that this story is in the Bible at all.
On the one hand, it is a horrible story!! A poor young woman is impregnated due to a lack of faith in God’s promise on the part of a man and his wife. Then, the young, single destitute woman is kicked out with no safety net and basically no hope in the society of the day. And worse, all this God both allowed and condoned.
I think this horrible “straw-man” version of the story is helpful as we consider the contexts we find ourselves in that lead to gross estrangements. A two-page summary (let alone a 2 paragraph summary of that) could never fully explain the nuances. Not only do we lack God’s infinite perspective, we lack the full human data and experience.
Just as in the Bible, God does not spend the book trying to justify and defend Abraham, we should rest in the fact that our stories are not going to be understood or fully justifiable in this lifetime. But, God knows.
If Sarah and Abraham had fully defended themselves, it probably would have convicted them all the more. I would guess that Sarah would become adamantly trying to explain the ill-treatment she had endured... thus reliving it... feeling the emotion of it... conveying the emotion of the the pain endured NOT a restful trust.
2) GOD’S PERMISSION
I wonder why God would have allowed this. In so many other places, this principle is condemned. It seems like the only words justifying this action is “Hagar... was mocking” (Gen 21:9). There seems to be something significant about mocking so I’m starting another page with thoughts about that.
3) GOD’S PLAN
I’m glad that Abraham was distressed. I think anytime a separation is involved, it should cause reflection and sorrow. This can help confirm we are doing it for the right reasons and not entering into the decision lightly or flippantly.
One reason for Abraham’s distress is because of the safety of his son... an innocent party that will be abandoned as well because of his position with regards to Hagar.
I love God’s reassurance to Abraham. Do not fear. Trust God’s plan. He has a separate plan for those alienated from you.
When we separate from difficult people, we often break relationships with those we love. We would love to retain these relationships with “innocent” people we love. But, no... the link they have remains secured to another and so is lost to us. We feel guilty, responsible, sad and possibly worried. But, God has a plan for them too. It is separate from us but not separate from God. Our grief needs to be limited to the fact that we will not be part and witness of God’s work for them NOT in the lack of hope for them.
Prayer -
Lord, allow us to be misunderstood. Allow us to be glad in that for separation only happens in extreme cases and if it were easily understood, it could wrongly be generalized. We don’t want this. Help us be satisfied and at peace with this. Keep us from living in the emotional justification of our abusive defense instead of in the freedom of moving forward in your story for us. Watch over those from whom we are severed. Keep them safe. Thank you that you promise us “hope and a future”. We pray that for them as well. Hold us together when we miss our dear ones -- who they are and who they will be. Keep us prayerful for them always.
