God does not require us to “do whatever it takes” to convert enemies into friends. This should encourage us and validate our sadness in the boundaries we keep that retain them. He does give us guidelines regarding our heart and our motives
Bible Reference - Luke 6:27-36
Reflection -
I was sitting and praying one day... asking God the question, “How am I to forgive someone for a wrong they continue to do?” It was in that prayer time that God impressed upon me the term “enemy”.
Forgiveness for wrongs done looks differently than our behavior towards a person who chooses to be an enemy. I decided that more research and data needs to be published because there is an emotional aspect to an enemy that is significantly different than to a person who has wronged us in the past.
Is that emotional aspect unavoidable? Is hurt and frustration allowed for this ongoing hurt? I am so grateful for God’s instruction on ways to treat enemies...
v 27 “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you.” Consider the following definitions from Dictionary.com
- love: “affectionate concern for the well-being of others ... benevolent affection.”
- benevolent: “desiring to help others; charitable ... intended for benefits rather than profit.”
- hate: “to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward”
- passionately: “having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling.”
- hostility: “... antagonism ... unfriendliness ... resistance...”
Again, it seems God does not address the EXISTENCE of our enemy but rather their effect on us. Even with those continuing to harm us, we are to act in consideration of their well-being. This care may cause us to create boundaries. We need to be sure we are not simply making boundaries for self-preservation or bitter resolve but in care for both us and them. God does not want us live life “compelled by, or ruled by” those who seek to do us harm but by His power.
“Bless those who cures you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Dictionary.com defines bless as “to request of God the bestowal of divine favor on .. to protect or guard from evil”. I believe there is no greater example than Jesus on the cross. Even while currently enduring the abuse, he asks for the Lord to grant them pardon. He continues to pray for their change ... their good. Can we rest so assured of our validation before the Lord, we do not need to ask him to validate us further through our enemy's destruction!?! Can we continue to hope and pray for their good.
“If someone strikes you on one cheek ... takes your cloak... Give to everyone who asks you... do not demand it back.” Human nature craves resolution. To those wounded, we don’t simply want relationships resolved but situations. We cannot live this way ... longing for past situations to be changed. The need to stop scrounging to regain lost pride, belongings, etc. There is a place for asking it back but at times, with our enemies, these things cannot be retrieved without harsh demands and rearranging our lives in bitter self-validation. This is not what God wants for us.
“Lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” We need to live postured to allow hurts unacknowledged but also still willing to aid without acknowledgement. We need to be able to settle our hearts so deeply in God’s approval of us and His eventual righting of all harm, that we can, not only delay vindication, but be will willing to allow more losses if God calls.
“He is kind to the ungrateful.” Our benevolent helps for others needs to flow from the one who gave it to us. He have it to us when we were unworthy. Our kindness flows from our internal source of kindness, Jesus Christ, not the object, an external person.
Prayer -
Lord, Thank you that you gave generously to us. Help us receive all of who you are so we can be willing to give generously to others who can be so cruel. In relationships where strong boundaries are most caring for both sides (to prevent abuse but also to prevent someone to continue abusing), allow our hearts to generously long for their restoration with you. In relationships that are still engaged, give us wisdom to navigate in kind, self-sacrificial yet safe care. Guide us in boundaries knowing that to allow some to continue to wound is not good for them. Help us to recognize areas we are making difficult choices for your glory and their (and our) good and when we are merely fighting for vindication. Help us in areas where our pride has been hurt. Help us endure emotional and physical losses we have sustained. We cannot regain what we lost. Yet, like with Job, You bring miraculous restoration. You restore “the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25). The restoration You bring is so much greater than the repayment we could conjure. Help us to pursue with You, the restoration you long for rather than selfishly living a vendetta.
